Well I’m now 2+ years into parenting and almost a whole year as a Stay At Home Dad, and it feels like a good time to reflect. Mostly cause nowadays I can’t help it. While “cleaning out” some of the photos on my phone by uploading them to a Facebook album, my eye caught the “Emma 2013” album chock full of baby pictures.
It’s a wonder to see how little she was compared to now, and even more a wonder to realize its only been two damn years. Thumbing through those pics triggered my brain’s reflection, and I’ve found it best to file it in this here listicle.
1.) I Am (Extensively) More Patient Than I Used To Be: Yeah, seriously. It’s not quite clear whether it was by choice, by nature or by force. Either way it’s happened. Am I still upset that there is now crayon all over the PS3? Yes, but it doesn’t bother me really. The moment it happened I realized two things:
1. I’m incredibly lucky that I even have it.
2. Having crayon on the outside doesn’t actually hurt it in any way.
Does it really bother me when I get her poop on my hand? Only on the level that a parent should, that we have to keep our hands as clean as possible so the little one doesn’t get sick.
I have gained a much bigger tolerance for all things, especially with the little one. Simply having the understanding that she is learning how to be a human will give you a perspective of what she is thinking.
2.) I’m More Sensitive About My Language: I used to curse like a sailor. Actually….I still do, and truth be told the occasional “fuck” still makes its way out of my mouth while the little one is present. She even said the word “shit” a few times. Luckily it’s not a habit as much as it used to be, but it takes less than a second to realize what’s happened. The last thing I need is for her to spill some juice at daycare and say “FUCK” to the class.
3.) I’m A Different Husband Than I Was Before: I undoubtedly love my Wife. It was true since soon after we met, and it’s even stronger now. Not only because she grew a small human inside her then pushed that sucker out, but because of how she “Moms”. I’ve always been in love with her personality and how she functions from day-to-day, even the little things, and being in love with her in that way helped form what type of husband I am. But now I get to see her be a Mom, translating her previous personality into being the amazing parent she is. Its amazing, and has elevated my own transformation into a Dad and a better Husband.
4.) I Don’t Ever Expect Things To Go As Planned: Sure it’s nice to make plans, and generally they work out. By that I mean…we plan to go to the zoo, and yeah we’ll get there and be present at the zoo then leave. But that doesn’t always mean it’ll be a good time. You will find yourself at your most forgetful as a parent, not because you have become more forgetful, but because there is just so much more for you to remember as compared to the pre-parent life. Overall it’ll work out, but never 100% the way you think it will, so always be open to interpretation wherever you go.
5.) I Understand My Parents’ Fear: I used to wonder why my parents wer so cautious of certain things. But now….sometimes I think about how they weren’t cautious enough! Obviously they did a great job, we all survived and came out the other end as great people. But damn if there isn’t a million was to get hurt even just within your own home.
6.) I Analyze My Surroundings Constantly: This kinda goes hand-in-hand with the entry above. There is not a single second that I’m with the little one and NOT constantly analyzing our immediate surroundings for possible danger. I’ve developed this ridiculous “Jason Bourne” style awareness, and while that may be awesome, I don’t nearly have the hand-to-hand combat skills and reaction times that he does. Maybe one day…..*kung fu pose*
7.) I Now Know What True Love Feels Like: Unfortunately I can’t really explain this with words. Parents, you know what I mean. Soon to be parents, you’ll know soon even if it doesn’t happen immediately.
-Ben
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